Stitch Adventures

How to waste a day

Jury Duty.  The dreaded post card in the mail.  The searches on the internet "How to get out of". 

Except for me.  I would really like to be on a jury.  I believe what the judge says when she talks about how important it is for regular people to help make decisions about civil and criminal decisions.  It is important. So I showed up on Tuesday at the jury room in Ventura.

Trapped at the government center, I jostle for a space where I can plug in my pc and actually get some work done.  Way too noisy in here.  So I wait. They won't give the password for the internet until after we've watched the same movie I've watched every year. It shows "average citizens" who rave about how important it is that I do my civic duty.  I know this, just send me up to a courtroom so I can do it!

Wait. Finally, 25 people are called upstairs to a courtroom.  Not me.  After 30 minutes, all but two of them are back in the waiting room - they only needed two alternates for a jury that was already picked.

I wait some more.  Finally, it's lunch time.  I eat pale watery pea soup at the cafeteria.  Go for a walk to burn off energy.  Go wait some more.  Only 4 more hours to go!

Well, you get the picture.  I  never did get picked to go to a courtroom, much less get on a jury.  And there were 198 people who didn't get picked either.  198 people, including me, who wasted a day sitting and waiting on the whim of a judge. 

Why is this repeated, day after day, yearly???  Inconvenience 200 people a day in every county courthouse in the state? Why do we allow the government to run this way?  That's a lot of interrupted work, life and wasted time.

Does someone have a solution?  I've tried the calling in every evening route - my number always gets called in, and it's worse because then I can't pick which specific day - it's all up to the judges in the courtroom.  So I end up trying to get work done all week, being distracted by the impending "you need to show up tomorrow" phone message. I know some people totally ignore the postcard in the mail - if the county can't prove you received it, how can they penalize you?

But I want to do what is right.  So why does it have to be a total waste of my mind and time? Do I have a solution?  No.  Does someone else?  How can the system be changed to serve needs, but not drive 200 people a day to total frustration?

If you've got a solution, I'll gladly rally for a  change.

Life begins at 60

Okay, so 60 sounds old.  But, I prefer to think of it as getting older, not old.  Just a number, it's how you feel and act that counts, etc.  All those cliches.

The last three months I have been getting my Dad moved into an assisted living facility.  A long, emotionally painful process.  But he is getting adjusted, has good food, safety, caring, and is making friends.  He is in a good place.

I am amazed at the amount of time and thought it takes to care for an older loved one. Or takes out of us.  So many of us baby boomers, if we are lucky enough to have parents that are elderly, will go through the same emotionally charged decisions.

I have learned to enjoy the staff at the "Home", and look forward to seeing not only my Dad, but so many of the other patients, all "Old", but delightfully engaging.  Their bodies may be giving them troubles, but Oh the Minds!  I laugh more, and appreciate my own life more when I am there.

Because I may be the big 60, but I have my health, people I love, a roof over my head, and the ability to work with my hands.  I can pursue my passions for fibers - and I need to do it now, not when I have more time. 

 

Bad bells/good bells

There’s this bell in my neighborhood, which I hear several times a day. I tried not being annoyed, but it sounded like some jerk who left their keys in the car, with the door open, while they ran into the house to get something they forgot.

Mind you, I forget things all the time. But I don’t leave my keys in the car with the door open. And I wouldn’t do it several times a day!

Mystery solved. I was driving back to my house, just passing the elementary school down the hill from my house, and I heard the bell. I suddenly dawned on me – the bell I’d been hearing for the last month is a new school bell!

Now, even though I hear that bell, same as always, I forgive it. I can think of my high school counselor days, or think of my oldest daughter teaching right at that moment, with all the little kids getting in line for lunch.

What TV show character would you be?

I’m reading a new book about the new meaning of work: i.e. it doesn’t have to be a drudge, or boring, or irritating, just so you can pay the bills.  Could it be that you could bring a little of your passion along with you, to make the job more exciting?

 

  Meanwhile, in the 3^rd chapter, the author asks an interesting question.  He says to imagine some of your favorite tv shows – make a list of them.  Then, pick a person on one of those shows – one that you would most like to be if you actually were able to act (and get paid an actors salary??).  So House is my favorite tv show, and really the only one I watch regularly because Hugh Laurie makes me snort with laughter.  He’s such a wonderful piece of work.  And I like watching the characters on the show with him.  But, I couldn’t think of any character that I would really like to substitute for.

 

My husband came home and took me out to Ojai Pizza tonight, and I asked him the question.  He only had to think a few seconds (it was during a commercial of the Lakers vs Celtics game, being shown on 6 big tv’s in the restaurant).  And he named Bob Varsha, an announcer on the car race shows and reviews my husband watches every weekend.  When I asked him why, he rolled his eyes and said, because he knows what he’s talking about – he’s not reading from a script. 

 

Then, surprisingly, my husband asked me who I would be.  Now that’s unusual, because he doesn’t ever turn my questions back on me.  But guess what popped out?  I said “Martha Stewart”.

 

Really?  Where did that come from?  Guess my relaxed brain got through, and out came a real answer.  Kind of an embarrassing answer because she has so many detractors. 

 

But I do like Martha Stewart because she’s real.  Not a character.  She’s a role model – feisty, humble, talented, and a true businesswoman.  She’s built a successful empire, and even though she was in prison, was able to get beyond that to continue entertaining millions with her tv shows, magazines, and books.  She has great ideas (of course other people put her crafts together), but she always does stuff on her own shows – and is quite inspiring.  Maybe I should try some of her ideas.  Sometimes I watch her show on the tv in my sewing room, and the creations are pretty great.

 

So why don’t you answer the question, and then figure out why you would be that character.  It might surprise you.

The Red power suit

I’m reading this book, Trappings, about how our clothing makes us feel powerful. It really has me thinking about why power dressing is so important. I’m not talking necessarily about the red suits that all women senators seem to wear (although that’s a perfect example), but rather about what us regular women wear on an everyday basis.

I get so disheartened when I go to the mall to watch people and see what’s new. There we all are, running between stores with our shopping bags that are packed with new clothes in the supposed “height of fashion”. Yet, what we are wearing is too tight jeans and sloppy t-shirts, or those stupid blouson tops that make even the skinniest of models look misshapen.

Why do we spend all our money buying new things, and then wearing the same old jeans and flip flops? (Okay, that’s Southern California).

What I want to write about here is power dressing - wearing clothing to feel your power. We all have that power – we just need to show it.

Compare, if you will, how you feel when you're dressing for a party. You spend time thinking about what you’ll wear; you put on some makeup, make sure your hair is clean and maybe even styled, and walk out of the house feeling really GOOD about how you look. You exude confidence; you act powerful, and are happy about life.

On regular days you sleep too late, throw on a pair of jeans or ill fitting pants and some obscure top, add your tennis shoes or scuffed boots and out the door you go – shoving a donut or bagel down your throat while driving and trying not to spill coffee. Some of you bother to put on lipstick, but mostly you’re thinking of being late, or how you hate mornings. On weekends, you definitely throw on a pair of jeans, and ditch any ideas of makeup.

But, “clothes make the man”, and the woman. I’m not saying you should power dress to impress others – I’m talking here about how you feel when you put on your clothes everyday. Great or not so great? You make that choice everyday.

Ever think about why we shop? It’s usually not out of necessity – it’s mostly because we want to buy something to make us feel better about ourselves. The advertisers spend their dollars convincing us we aren’t good enough, that we need more. Okay, that’s what keeps our economy going. Buying something new gives us real pleasure – until you’ve worn that something new once or twice. Then it’s no longer got the thrill.

So here’s my simple theory of how to feel good about yourself, without buying more things. Wear what you have! If you spent every morning deciding what nice, put together outfit you could wear – I’ll guarantee that you will have a happy day, filled with confidence about what you can accomplish.

I’m not saying don’t wear jeans. How about wearing your most comfortable pair of jeans, but add a jacket over the top, earrings and a long scarf, and some lipstick or your favorite makeup. If the jacket or top is something you’ve made, so much the better! The thing is, if you care about what you’ve got on, you’ll feel, and look, like a powerful woman.

By wearing an outfit that makes you feel good, - no matter where you’re going - you’ll exude power, smile more, and everyone around you will treat you as the powerful woman you are. What you wear affects your mood, and shows the people around you how you feel about yourself. No red suit required!

Happy Mothers Day!

My weekend was delightful, with both daughters visiting and spending time with me.  That's the best Mother's Day present of all!

I'm so lucky that my 20's daughters both love, and share my passion for making things.  So Lauren spent Saturday with me while I met a new sewing student at the fabric store.  The student wanted help picking out a pattern and learning about fabric types for her gaming convention costume.  I didn't understand why, but my daughter explained the concepts of gaming, and avatars, and fantasy characters over lunch.  The gaming world has certainly changed a lot since my girls were playing the Sims!

Then we drove home, and Lauren got to try out my new embroidery machine, which I think she fell in love with.  She had purchased a few yards of toweling and waffle weave fabric, and she tried motifs on both, using the wonderful colors of embroidery thread that I had. 

On mothers day, Kali, my youngest, brought apricot almond scones that she had baked and we had a full breakfast with the whole family.  For lunch Kali made a sample plate of cheeses (she works for a caterer and makes cheese plates and baked goods), and I got to taste several different kinds.  Not the Costco brand cheddar cheese kind!  Then for dinner, Kali made octopus and crab sushi, eda mame and noodle soup, which we washed down with sips of sake. Quite unusual in our family (my husband ate terriyaki chicken instead). But what a fun way to celebrate being a mom!

Joie de Vivre - Joy in Living

Joie de Vivre – French for “joy in living”, is a personal goal that became part of my life several years ago, inspired by an article on dying words. I try to live simply, so I will thoroughly enjoy my time, and be grateful for all that I have.  

I don't get to just go shopping and buy all the fabric and yarn I want, as I used to.  First, I try to use what I have, and take pleasure in the challenge.  But, if I really find something great, then, yes, it's okay to buy - as long as I pay with my debit card.

I try to learn something new – every day if possible. I subscribe to the “joke of the day” on the internet, and watch Jon Stewart and House because they make me laugh.

There’s always chocolate in my life too.  A piece everyday, if I want.  My birthday resolutions never contain the words “give up chocolate”.

Here's a picture of the cake my youngest daughter made for me on my last birthday. 6 layer chocolate with fresh strawberries. Pure chocolate heaven. It took me two months to eat it (a tiny slice, thawed, was quite a treat!)

My resolution at the beginning of this year was  a continuation of last year’s physical challenge – trying to be limber enough to put my palms on the floor while bending at the waist (no, I’m not allowed to bend my knees at the same time). I’m inspired by what the limber, yet much-larger-than-me women can do in yoga class – and I know I can do that too. I made it to knuckles on the floor in 2009 – so palms down, I’m going to keep on stretching.

My number 1 reason for doing this – it keeps me exercising, and that keeps my ambition of Joie de vivre active, and then I have so much energy I can sew, knit, embroider, weave, crochet and felt with the greatest of happiness. If I exercise, I have the energy and attitude to get rid of the little voice telling me that the laundry isn’t done and I need to vacuum. Those chores do get done later, when I actually feel like doing them.

Everyday, I surround myself with people who love me (or at least they think I'm interesting).  I stay away from the negative, gossiping people I know.  I smile at sales clerks, and strangers that I meet on my daily walk. I listen - with my whole attention, to those who really just need a sympathetic ear. 

What makes you smile? Do it.  Do something for the child in you!